"I thought I would have to teach my child about the world, but instead I have to teach the world about my child." - anonymous
"Riley is going to be her own person, she will be different than other people, special. But she will still be her own person. She is going to be who she is going to be and we are not going to love her any less." - my mom
"God made Riley just the way he wanted to." - my friend's 4-year old son
Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland. -
Emily Perl Kingsley
"Heaven's Very Special Child"
A meeting was held quite far from Earth,
It's time again for another birth.
Said the angels to the Lord above,
This special child will need much love.
Her progress may be very slow,
Accomplishment she may not show
And she'll require extra care
From the people she meets down there.
She may not run or laugh or play,
Her thoughts might seem quite far away,
In many ways she won't adapt
And she'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where she's sent,
We want her life to be content.
Please, Lord, find the parents who
Will do this special job for you.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love,
And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from heaven;
Their precious charge so meek and mild
Is "Heaven's Very Special Child".
-written by a 102 yr. old woman living in a hospital in Powell River, B.C.
